Every Addiction Is The Same Problem
Thoughts On Dry January, Quitting Smoking, and 25 Quotes, Tactics, and Inspiration for a 30-Day Pause In Any Substance
It’s the 29th of the month and I’ve nearly completed Dry January. I made it through a restaurant meal with my partner, who drank two martinis across from me. I went to a game night with my beer- and bourbon-drinking buddies. I even had a whole ladies’ weekend with friends who were all drinking. I’m not going to lie; after I recovered from an awful head cold that lasted the first two weeks of the month, I had cravings almost every day around 5 o’clock, when I would normally reach for a beer. But I found that once I made it through about a half-hour of wishing I could drink, I moved on to eating and my evening activities without giving it much more thought until bedtime, when I would log another successful day in my Dry January app.
Like so many others, my casual drinking began to slide toward alcohol use disorder during the pandemic. A year into COVID-19, I found myself drinking pretty much every night. At one point, my tolerance rose so high I could drink three cocktails or a high-proof IPA and a few shots of bourbon over an evening with no discernible hangover the next day. For professional drinkers, this might be a laughably small amount. For most Wisconsinites, it’s well inside our alcohol consumption norms. As a child of an alcoholic whose drinking and drug use destroyed my family, it was a source of worry and shame for me.
THE WAY YOUR BRAIN WORKS MAKES YOU SUSCEPTIBLE TO ADDICTION
Until the pandemic, I thought I had escaped inheriting the “alcoholic gene.” It wasn’t appealing to me to feel out of control, and it didn’t take very much alcohol to make me feel sick. While it happened occasionally in my teens, twenties, and thirties, I hated losing a whole day of my life to a hangover. I became more and more careful not to drink more than I could handle. I’ve had some wild nights, but I regularly went several days a week without drinking and had no sense of addiction. So this new version of me, who felt compelled to drink every evening, was puzzling.
William Porter’s book Alcohol Explained, which I read during Dry January, helped me to realize that anyone can become dependent on alcohol with enough practice. Regularly ingesting alcohol, which is an anesthetic depressant, increases your stress hormones as your brain strives to maintain homeostasis. When the alcohol wears off, the increased levels of cortisol still circulating often lead to a desire to “fix” the problem with another drink. This is a self-perpetuating cycle. Porter explains that you can have decades of drinking or even an entire lifetime before you reach the point where you develop a noticeable alcohol dependence. Your beliefs about drinking can also delay the realization that you aren’t actually in control of your alcohol consumption.
“A glass or two of red wine each day is good for you!”
“It helps me unwind and not snap at the kids.”
“I’m not hurting anyone.”
“I perform well at work.”
Etc.
I’m not here to judge your drinking or tell you that you need to change it. Only you have the right to decide that. But I’ve found a lot of evidence over the past twenty-eight days that there is literally nothing about alcohol that is good for you, even in moderation. That doesn’t mean you can’t decide to keep drinking, in moderation or otherwise! But if you’d like to know what it’s doing to you in addition to what you think it’s doing for you, you’ll find a comprehensive overview, backed with scientific evidence, in “What Alcohol Does to Your Body and Brain Health,” from the Huberman Lab podcast. He won’t tell you that you have to quit drinking, either.
I’ve also found that trying to quit alcohol and experiencing those cravings had no discernable difference from trying to quit smoking, except in the number of times per day I struggled. Smoking cessation was an all-day effort instead of something that only rolled around at happy hour.
WE MAKE PROGRESS THROUGH PRACTICE
Since 2020, I’ve implemented more limits to my drinking, like only having one beer most nights. I also tried to temporarily quit altogether three times (for a week, two weeks, and 30 days). Each time, I was miserable and counted the days until I could drink again. The first time I tried 30 days alcohol-free, I only made it two weeks. Recently, a friend mentioned that she would be doing Dry January, and I decided I would try it too. At first, I doubted I would make it through the whole month. But this time felt different once I started seeking and taking in information and support for trying to go dry. I found that I really wanted to make it work. I even began thinking of sobriety as a source of freedom instead of a sentence to a lifetime without fun. I also started using some of the tactics I had used to quit smoking. Whoa, what?! They actually work! That’s because all addictions are really the same. When the substance wears off, you crave the temporary feeling(s) it gave you. You want it again. Your tolerance to the substance builds the more often you use it, making it harder to get those feelings unless you use more of it. It can eventually become a prison. Because your brain can change and adapt (neuroplasticity), it’s possible to escape from any addictive prison, whether or not you inherited that “addiction gene.”
If you want to quit smoking (or your substance of choice), it’s worth it to start experimenting with a temporary cessation of whatever amount of time sounds reasonable. Why temporary? When you are really struggling to quit, forever sounds too long.
Stop using forever as an excuse not to try. Know that your attempt may not go perfectly. It could be messy. You might slip. That’s okay. Then you start again. The only way to discover what works for you is to try things, ask questions, and analyze the results. Nothing big or small is ever accomplished without taking action.
I made a list to look at whenever I struggled during Dry January. I looked at it frequently, and it eased my suffering many times. I hope it will do the same for you if you decide to run a stop-smoking experiment. Or you can adapt these for any other addictive behavior you want to try quitting for a set period. Good luck! I know you’re worth it.
25 QUOTES, TACTICS, AND INSPIRATION FOR A 30-DAY PAUSE IN YOUR ADDICTION
“If you need to make some changes, you can start today. Correct the errors of the past and pick up new disciplines for the future.” —Jim Rohn, motivational speaker and personal development coach.
Set a date and make it public.
Download an app (for the thing you are trying to quit). I’m using the Dry January app (Apple or Android), but many apps exist for quitting smoking.
Come up with a mantra to repeat anytime you are having a craving. Here’s mine for Dry January: If Diana Nyad can swim from Cuba to Miami at age 64, I can stop drinking for 30 days.
My accomplishments will be in direct proportion to my ability to be uncomfortable.
I can do hard things.
Hard things are worth doing.
Do I want the easy life that comes from making hard choices or the hard life that comes from easy choices? It’s my choice! This concept has been shared by Naval Ravikant, Tim Ferris, Jerzy, and possibly others.
Once the hard choices become habits, they won’t be hard anymore.
If you’re going to do something, do it well. Embrace it. Love it! When you choose to love what you are doing, it doesn’t suck. It’s more like a devotion.
Drink a glass of water.
Clean something that needs cleaning.
Lie down and breathe.
Listen to an audiobook while coloring or doing something with your hands.
Zen color (Apple or Android) is an honestly boring “color by number” app for tablets, but I’ve found that if I do it while listening to a podcast or audiobook, multiple parts of my brain are engaged, and it’s a solid distraction from even strong cravings. Analog coloring books also work just fine.Go for a walk or shovel snow while listening to something uplifting, motivating, or inspirational.
Do Yoga Nidra.
Draw or paint.
Play chess or another online game.
Plan and cook a healthy meal.
Write in your journal.
Look at sober Instagram accounts.
Tell yourself: I am not mediocre. Elite people take care of their bodies and minds.
Ask yourself: what is the underlying desire I hope to fill by using [this substance]? Is it hunger, companionship, comfort, relaxation, fun, etc.? Is there another way I could meet that need? Do that instead.
Pray. You don’t need to believe in God to do this.
Celebrate how far you’ve come, even if it’s just one day!
That was really great, thanks! Came over from the Dry January instagram page. I stopped smoking about 30 years ago, I'd just met my future husband who had stopped 3 years before, he didn't push about it but just said he preferred I didn't do it round him or in his flat, and many things about life were changing at the time, like not going to pubs as much and breaking the beer-and-a-cigarette link, so it was the right time to stop. But I know it was still quite difficult for a while, I thought about smoking and dreamed I was still doing it for years, but now I can't remember or imagine what it was like to be a smoker, though I still remember to be grateful I no longer am! I don't know exactly how I'll build on Dry January, I think I'll carry on for a bit as I have really enjoyed it, and hope I can maintain the benefits, I don't think it'll be too difficult. Good luck on the path you're on!
I love this post!