How We Save Ourselves From Ourselves:
Plan Ahead To Ease Our Future Pain
I heard from someone struggling to quit smoking the other day. They mentioned they were afraid they wouldn’t be able to find alternative, healthy habits to sustain them. Maybe you’ve had this fear yourself. It’s completely normal—I worried about it before I quit, too.
Are your fears preventing you from quitting? You can address them before you stop smoking. You wouldn’t jump on an airplane headed to an unfamiliar destination without doing a little research and gathering what you need—like a passport or clean clothes—before your departure date, right? Going smoke-free is no different.
Planning is just problem-solving—before you have the problem. Your quit plan helps you tackle your own fears and gives you more confidence that yes, you’ve got this.
Problem-Solve, Before You Have the Problem
“When scientists analyze people who appear to have tremendous self-control, it turns out those individuals aren’t all that different from those who are struggling. Instead, ‘disciplined’ people are better at structuring their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower and self-control.”
- James Clear, Atomic Habits
In a moment of craving, you’ll be hard-pressed to choose anything other than going to buy a pack of smokes if you haven’t already figured out what you like and what makes you happy (other than smoking) ahead of time. So, present you is going to make a list of alternative, healthy habits that make future you feel good. Your future self will thank you.
First, let me address the elephant in the room. When you quit smoking, you will go through withdrawal. A powerful, highly addictive chemical (nicotine) is leaving your body. You have also been engaging in a physical ritual: grab your smokes, pull one out, flick the lighter, and inhale—many times a day, possibly for years or decades. Suddenly stopping is likely to be uncomfortable and unpleasant.
There really is no easy way around it, but this suffering is temporary. How long cravings last and how intense they feel is different for everyone. Cravings are typically most frequent during the first week, and you can lessen your discomfort dramatically by reducing stress through exercise, diet, rest, and meditation or prayer—and by increasing dopamine with exercise, music, sunlight, physical touch, or even cold water. You can also use nicotine replacement therapy (patches, gums, or lozenges).
Let’s add to your dopamine-inducing options by making a “Pleasure List”
How To Make A Pleasure List
Let’s face it: “healthy habits” don’t sound like fun. So we’re going to call this a Pleasure List instead. (I’ve also heard it called a Happy List, which works too.)
I’m all for tricking your brain into helping you change your behavior, and this exercise will help you do that.
Take a blank piece of paper and write down everything you can think of that you enjoy or that gives you pleasure. These should be activities available to you now or anytime, at no cost, that make you feel good, happy, satisfied, or fulfilled. To be clear on the assignment, you’re not making a list of goals to achieve, like “start a business,” or external circumstances outside your control (like “win the lottery”).
Try to come up with 100 things. It’s HARD! Settling for 50 is fine. Don’t include smoking.
A few examples: eating a cookie, blowing bubbles, watching a movie or your favorite show, swinging at the park, petting your dog or cat, helping a loved one, playing a board or video game, walking in nature, doodling or coloring, watching the sunrise/sunset, taking a bath, woodworking, thrifting, sex or masturbation, organizing a space in your home, working on a puzzle, reading a book, listening to a podcast, finding and telling dad jokes, etc.
Now, look over your list. Which items are healthy and harmless, and which could easily veer into an unhealthy replacement addiction?
No food shaming here! Eating a piece of candy or a cookie is in the harmless category compared to smoking. On the other hand, smoking weed is suspect. I included playing video games on my own list, but I didn’t include scrolling social media. You do you.
Revise your list to remove items you know could be harmful to you (binge shopping on Instagram, perhaps?). If you end up with fewer than ten things, repeat the exercise. Aim for a minimum of 25-50. If you’re still stuck, set this aside and try again first thing in the morning when your mind is at its most unfiltered and fresh.
Now you have alternative, healthy activities—in writing—that you can do for yourself when cravings hit.
When was the last time you did any of these things for yourself? Hint hint.
If your reaction to this exercise is despair and a belief that you’ll never love anything as much as you love to smoke, it’s okay. You can still quit smoking. With time, you won’t feel this way anymore. I promise.
I’ve been smoke-free since 2016 after smoking for over 30 years. I have developed plenty of habits and activities that bring me pleasure and happiness over the past nine years, and I know you can too.
Want to quit smoking?
Here’s how I can help:
Subscribe to A Newsletter for Quitters.
Get a copy of Quit Smoking for Good: From Helpless Smoker to Healthy Non-Smoker in Five Simple Steps. It’s currently free on Kindle Unlimited (a subscription service), available as a standalone e-book, or in paperback. Audiobook is in production.
Download a free Essential Guide for Quitters on my new website.
Sign up for the waitlist for my Quit for Good online program, coming later this year!
Notes for Nerds
You can learn more about how nicotine works on your brain and reward centers in the Huberman Lab Podcast #90, “Nicotine’s Effects on the Brain & Body & How to Quit Smoking or Vaping.” You’ll find a different explanation of nicotine addiction in Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking. I prefer the scientific perspective Huberman offers, which is a bit more complicated than “nicotine=bad.” Yet, millions of people have quit with the “Easy Way” method, so I would never discourage anyone from reading the book and giving it a try. It’s also available at the library.
Yet another helpful book for understanding your nicotine addiction is William Porter’s Nicotine Explained (this is an affiliate link; I’ll earn a commission from Amazon if you use it to purchase the book).
Huberman also mentions the positive data for hypnotic suggestion and reduced cravings and offers the hypnosis app Reveri as a resource.